


Never Ending Love

by liberallesbian37



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:46:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liberallesbian37/pseuds/liberallesbian37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Hanna/Spencer/Aria prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5x01 Aria feels guilty about killing Shana. Hanna and Spencer try to help.

 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with this,” Aria whispered. She was currently nestled between her girlfriends, and despite their reassurances, she couldn’t stop feeling horrible about what she’d done.

                “You saved our lives, Aria. That’s how you live with it,” Spencer said, running her fingers through Aria’s hair. Despite her parents’ apparent concern over her whereabouts, it hadn’t taken long for them to disappear on work trips again.

                “I didn’t want to kill her,” Aria said. The image of Shana’s open, lifeless eyes wouldn’t leave her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the girl’s body again.

                “She was pointing a gun at us! You did what you had to do,” Hanna insisted. Aria shook her head.

                “There should have been another way,” she said. Spencer and Hanna both sighed. They knew that no words would comfort Aria unless she believed them.

                “Maybe you should talk to someone,” Hanna suggested. Aria frowned.

                “You mean like Dr. Sullivan?” she asked. Hanna nodded.

                “But wouldn’t she have to tell the police?” Aria asked. Spencer shook her head.

                “No. If you tell a therapist about an act of past violence, even murder, they’re legally bound to keep it confidential, unless they believe you’re a risk to someone else,” Spencer explained.

                “And technically it was self defense,” Hanna added. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “I think it stopped being self defense when we left her body there,” she pointed out.

                “The point is, if you wanted to talk to Dr. Sullivan, you don’t need to worry about her going to the police,” Spencer said. Aria shook her head

                “No, I can’t talk to her about this. There’s too much involved. We’d have to explain everything, it would ruin Ali’s story… It’s too complicated,” she sighed. Hanna frowned.

                “Screw Ali. The plan was to come back here and tell the truth, not come up with some insane lie about being kidnapped. I’m more concerned with you,” she said. Spencer nodded in agreement.

                “I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Aria said. Hanna sighed, and kissed her girlfriend’s bare shoulder.

                “It’s up to you. But you have to stop beating yourself up over this. I know you’re upset, but you saved our lives. If you hadn’t showed up, Spencer and I would both be in a morgue right now,” Hanna said bluntly. Aria flinched, and Spencer glared at Hanna.

                “I know. But that doesn’t make this any easier,” Aria said. Spencer kissed her forehead gently, and wiped a tear from Aria’s cheek.

                “I know, sweetie. And we’re here for you, whatever you need,” she promised. Aria shook her head.

                “I need to know that it didn’t happen. And that’s not possible.”

                “Aria! Ezra is in the hospital because Shana shot him. She was about to shoot Alison. She was prepared to shoot Spencer, Emily, and me to get to her. I know you’re upset, but instead of thinking about what you did, think about what she would have done.”

                “Hanna! Not helping!” Spencer hissed.

                “No… No, I think it is helping,” Aria said slowly. Hanna’s words felt like a punch in the gut, but she knew they were true. When she had shown up in the theatre, Shana had a gun pointed at Spencer. If she’d been five seconds later… Spencer might not be here right now. Five minutes, and she might have lost both of her girlfriends. She shivered and turned over to cuddle closer to Hanna, grasping Spencer’s hand at the same time.

                “I could have lost you both,” she whispered, realizing what she was really upset about. She felt horrible about killing Shana, of course, but the knowledge that she had almost lost the women she loved was what was tearing her apart.

                “But you didn’t,” Hanna said, caressing Aria’s face.

                “We’re right here,” Spencer added. Aria felt a small smile cross her face.

                “I love you guys,” she said. Hanna and Spencer both smiled and cuddled up against their girlfriend.

                “Love you too.”

                For the first time since pushing Shana off that stage, Aria slept without nightmares.       


	2. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7x04; Aria wants Spencer to forgive their girlfriend for kissing Caleb

"You need to forgive her," Aria said quietly, despite the fact that she could hear the shower running and knew Hanna couldn't hear. Spencer didn't look up, but Aria knew she was listening based on the way her shoulders tightened and she started scrubbing the floor harder.

"She was scared, and upset, and we weren't there for her," Aria said. Spencer's head shot up and she glared at her girlfriend.

"Yeah, and why is that? Why weren't we with her? Oh right, because she wouldn't let us!" 

Aria sighed.

"She knew that if we saw how scared she was, we wouldn't let her do it," Aria reasoned.

"And look what happened! She gets kidnapped and is missing for twenty four hours, only to return covered in burns and bruises! Now she refuses to talk to us!" 

"She just wants to move past it," Aria said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Or maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it with us. She's probably spilling her heart out with Caleb instead," Spencer spat out, angrily scrubbing the floor. 

"Spence, you don't really believe that," Aria sighed. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Don't I? She kissed him, Aria. And we both know he's still in love with her!" Wrapped up in their argument, neither girl heard the shower stop running.

"She messed up, and she knows that. You need to forgive her," Aria repeated. 

"She cheated on us! And the only reason we even know about it is because Caleb blabbed to Toby. For all we know, if Toby and Emily gotten there five minutes later, they would have walked in on her fucking him!" Spencer yelled. Aria marched over to Spencer.

"You cannot honestly tell me you believe that. This is Hanna you're talking about. Our girlfriend. And if anyone else treated her the way you've been treating her lately, you'd kill them," she hissed in a dangerously low voice. Spencer pursed her lips, not replying. Aria sighed and walked back over to the couch. Suddenly she noticed Hanna standing in the hall.

"How does it feel to be clean?" She asked with a false cheeriness. 

"I wouldn't know," Hanna said emotionlessly. Aria felt a stab of pain in her heart at her girlfriend's words. 

"I can help," Hanna offered, watching Spencer. 

"I've got it." The brunette didn't even look up. 

"Spence, I'm really sorry, can we please talk?" Hanna pleaded. Spencer's hand stilled at the tears she could hear in Hanna's voice , and she thought about what Aria had said. Since Hanna had returned, Spencer had tried to help her. She'd brought her coffee, and later tequila, that first night. She'd carefully applied Aria's burn cream to the many mysterious burns on Hanna's body. She'd buried a body for her, for god's sake. But she'd also been incredibly distant. She'd given Hanna a hug when she saw her, but hadn't kissed her once. She was usually the last one in bed, and she made sure she wasn't next to the blonde. And she hadn't asked her how she was feeling a single time. All of the information she'd gotten regarding what happened that night--the cattle prod, the hose, ending up in Mary Drake's car--had come from Aria. Aria was right. If anyone else treated Hanna the way she was, they'd be in that grave next to Rollins. Unbidden, tears sprang to her eyes.

"Spence?" Aria asked softly, noticing her girlfriend's distress. Wordlessly, Spencer stood up and walked to the bathroom. She closed the door and sat down on the closed toilet lid, allowing the sobs to overtake her body. All of the worry regarding Hanna's safety, the betrayal of her kissing Caleb, the anger that AD had taken her, it all came pouring out. She was furious at Hanna for kissing Caleb, but there was so much else buried beneath that. She was mad at Caleb, at herself, at AD, at Ali, at Charlotte, at whoever killed Charlotte. Unfortunately, her girlfriend was the easiest person to lash out at. There was a quiet knock at the door and Spencer furiously wiped away her tears.

"Come in," she said. To her surprise, a blonde head poked in.

"Aria left to help Emily with some emergency. She thought we should leave you alone, but I wanted to make sure you were okay," she explained. Spencer started to say something when she noticed a glint in Hanna's hair.

"Come here," she said, motioning for Hanna to come closer. The blonde cautiously approached her. Spencer reached out and carefully pulled something out of Hanna's hair. It was a shard of glass nearly an inch long.

"Did this cut you? Is there more? Are you bleeding anywhere?" She asked worriedly, combing through Hanna's hair with her fingers. Hanna reached up and pulled Spencer's hands away from her head. She was relieved when the brunette didn't pull away.

"I'm fine. What about you? You're bleeding," she said, nodding at Spencer's arm. Spencer glanced at it and shook her head.

"It's not mine," she said. 

"Spence, I'm so sorry," Hanna apologized for what felt like the hundredth time. Spencer sighed and led Hanna into the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and gathered Hanna's hands in her own.

"No, Han, I'm sorry. I have been treating you terribly, when I should have been loving and taking care of you," she said. 

"You have every reason to be mad at me," Hanna whispered. Spencer nodded.

"You're right. I did have a reason to be mad at you. But that doesn't mean it was fair of me to punish you for days," she said. Hanna shrugged.

"I deserved it," she said. Spencer shook her head.

"No, you didn't. Whatever I was feeling regarding that kiss should have been ignored until we made sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Hanna lied. Spencer squeezed her eyes shut, hating herself for what she was about to admit.

"I know you have nightmares. I've heard you crying at night. Aria sleeps through it, but I don't. But I've been so angry that I've ignored you. And there's no excuse for that," she whispered, tears leaking out of her eyes. Hanna felt her own tears begin to form.

"Spence, it's okay," she tried to reassure her girlfriend. Spencer threw her arms around the blonde, holding her tightly. 

"No it's not. You were hurting and I ignored it. You would never do that, no matter how angry you were." 

"You were hurting too," Hanna pointed out weakly. 

"It doesn't matter. I'm so sorry. Will you please forgive me?" She asked. 

"Of course. On one condition." Spencer furrowed her eyebrows.

"What?"

"Kiss me," Hanna said desperately. Spencer smiled and pulled back just enough to press a kiss to Hanna's lips. 

From the other room, Aria watched, being careful not to disturb her girlfriends. Her plan to get them to make up had worked perfectly. Content that they were done having their heart to heart, she slipped outside before reentering, making sure to be as loud as she could. She walked into the bedroom and found Spencer putting burn cream on Hanna's back. 

"Everything okay?" She asked, feigning ignorance. Spencer nodded.

"We were just getting ready to go to bed," she said. Aria smiled and leaned over to kiss her girlfriends.

"Let me go brush my teeth and I'll be back," Aria said, turning off the light so the room was only illuminated by Spencer's bedside lamp. Spencer and Hanna nodded, and laid back on the bed.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, reaching out to cup Hanna's cheek. The blonde nuzzled Spencer's hand.

"I will be," she answered honestly. 

"I love you," Spencer said softly. Hanna's grin could have lit up the room.

"I love you too."

"And I love you both!" Aria announced, hopping into bed. Spencer laughed at the small woman, and turned the lamp off, leaving the room in darkness. Hanna sighed happily. Since escaping AD, the dark had sent her into a breathless panic, and every night she wished she could be nestled between her girlfriends. But she hadn't wanted to say anything, aware of Spencer's anger. So she'd dealt with the sleepless night, lying away terrified someone was going to grab her off the edge of the bed. But tonight, finally, she was right where she belonged.

 


	3. Girl is a Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer finds out about what Aria said to Hanna. She's not happy.

"You're the problem Hanna! You're always the problem!" Aria screamed at her girlfriend. Hanna's eyes filled with tears and she started shaking.

"I'm telling the truth," Hanna swore.

"Get out! Just leave!" Aria screamed, nearly pushing Hanna out the door before slamming it in her face. A sob tore through Hanna's body and she started running, running to the one place she could go.

\--

"Han? What's going on?" Spencer asked worriedly, confused as to why her girlfriend was soaking wet and sobbing.

"Can I come in?" Hanna asked. Spencer nodded and quickly ushered Hanna into the room. She settled Hanna on the couch with a blanket and disappeared into the kitchen. A minute later she returned with a cup of tea. Hanna accepted the mug to make Spencer happy, though she couldn't care less about actually drinking it.

"Something happened. I... Remember how I told you I thought Zack was hitting on me?"

Spencer nodded.

"My mom made me go to The Brew tonight. I didn't want to, but I couldn't tell her why. So I went. Zack... He got into my car. He was talking and he put his hand on my thigh, and he slipped me his number."

"I should have believed you before," Spencer muttered, guilt ridden. Hanna had been drunk the first time, she'd assumed the girl was misreading Zack, but there was no misreading this.

"Did he hurt you?" Spencer asked, horrified by the idea of someone touching her girlfriend. Hanna shook her head.

"No. He scared me, and I feel gross, but he didn't hurt me," Hanna said. Spencer reached out and wiped away tears from Hanna's cheek. 

"Is there something else you're upset about?" she asked gently, sensing that something else was wrong.

"I went over to Aria's after it happened. I thought she should know. But she didn't believe me. She said I was the problem… That I was always the problem," Hanna said, her voice breaking. A rush of anger surged through Spencer's body and she wrapped the blonde in a hug. 

"You are  _not_  the problem, baby," she said fiercely.

"Aren't I? What if I sent him the wrong signals the other night because I was stupid and drunk?" She asked. 

"It doesn't matter what signals you sent. Han, you are an underage girl. You could be throwing yourself at him and what he did would be wrong," Spencer said. She glanced at the clock. It was getting late, but she still had time to go give Aria a piece of her mind.

"You're staying here tonight," Spencer announced. "Why don't you go take a shower and get warmed up and I'll be back in a half hour."

"Where are you going?" Hanna asked.

"To Aria's."

\--

"What the hell were you thinking?" Spencer hissed the second Aria opened the door. Aria frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you seriously tell Hanna that she's always the problem?" Spencer barked. Aria sighed.

"Look, I talked to my mom and I know now that Hanna was probably telling the truth. I'll apologize to her in the morning." Spencer shook her head.

"She is our girlfriend, Aria! And before that, she was one of your best friends! How could you not believe her? And even more than that, how dare you tell her she's the problem! You know as well as I do how much she struggles with her self esteem!" Spencer yelled. 

"You're right. I should have believed her. But she's been drinking lately, and--"

"I don't give a damn how much she's been drinking! That man got into her car and touched her in a way that made her uncomfortable! And you accused her of being the problem?" Spencer yelled, her chest heaving in anger.

"Did he hurt her?" Aria asked in concern. Spencer scoffed.

"Not as much as you did."

Without another word, Spencer got into her car and drove away.

\--

"Does she believe me?" Hanna asked quietly, drawing circles on Spencer's shoulder. The two were wrapped up in each other in Spencer's bed.

"Yeah," Spencer replied. Hanna flinched at the coldness of Spencer's tone.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked. Spencer sighed and shook her head.

"No, I'm mad at Aria," she admitted.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," Hanna said. Spencer shook her head vehemently. 

"No. It's Aria's fault and it's my fault. You're our girlfriend. We're supposed to believe you," Spencer insisted. Hanna buried her face in Spencer's chest.

"I haven't exactly been a good girlfriend lately," she mumbled. The doorbell saved Spencer from having to respond. She slipped out of bed and went downstairs to answer the door. To her surprise, it was Aria.

"What is it?" she asked coldly.

"I know she's here," Aria said, pushing her way into the house. Spencer rolled her eyes and shut the door.

"Come on in," she muttered, but Aria had already disappeared. Spencer hesitated, wondering if she should wait to return. No, they were all three in a relationship. She didn't need to wait downstairs. 

"Will you forgive me?" Aria was asking as Spencer walked in. The blonde nodded, and accepted Aria's hug.

"Is everything okay in here?" Spencer asked.

"It will be if my girlfriends get their butts into bed with me," Hanna joked, wiping away tears. 

"Do you mind if I stay?" Aria asked, not sure where she and Spencer stood. Spencer smiled and tossed a t-shirt at Aria.

"Well, she did say girlfriends," she pointed out. Aria let out a sigh of relief. She quickly changed her clothes and climbed into bed, squishing Hanna in the middle.

"You need a bigger bed," Hanna grumbled, though truthfully there was nothing she loved more than feeling her girlfriends pressed up against her.

"Hanna, you're not a problem. You're never a problem. You're my girlfriend, and I'm so sorry," Aria said suddenly. Hanna kissed the shorter girl.

"I love you too, Ar."

 


	4. Let the Rain Wash Away All the Pain of Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6x20/7x01

_“I still don’t like this plan,” Spencer said, pursing her lips. For a split second, she’d actually believed her girlfriend when she’d admitted to killing Charlotte, and she was still shaken up. Of course, Hanna hadn’t killed Charlotte, it was all just part of a crazy plan to trap A._

_“Everything’s going to be fine, Spence. It’s a good plan,” Hanna assured her._

_“It’s a terrible plan!” Emily interjected. Spencer took a long sip from her wineglass. She knew it was already too late to talk Hanna out of this._

_“Look what happened to you, Em. A stole your eggs. They burnt Aria. They landed Ali in the hospital. If we don’t do something, one of us is going to be next,” she said, looking straight at Spencer._

_“We just don’t want you getting hurt,” Aria said softly, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand._

_“I know. But this is going to work. I talked to Caleb and he’s okay with letting me borrow the equipment.”_

_Spencer narrowed her eyes._

_“And what does he want in return?” she asked. Hanna’s ex had been furious to find out she was now dating Spencer and Aria, and he hadn’t stopped trying to win her back since._

_“He just wants to be there with us,” Hanna said. Spencer said._

_“Fine. But I still don’t like it.”_

\--

                “No one’s going in the room. Why isn’t anyone going in there?” Spencer muttered, staring at the laptop screen. Toby and Caleb had reluctantly left ten minutes ago, following a car that appeared to be driven by the dead Jessica DiLaurentis.

                “They must not have fallen for it,” Aria reasoned. Spencer frowned.

                “I think we should go in there,” she announced.

                “But we said we’d give it a half hour,” Aria reminded her.

                “I don’t care! We’ve waited twenty minutes. It’s close enough. I’m going in.”

                Aria sighed, but followed her girlfriend. Spencer opened the door and froze, causing Aria to run into her.

                “What? What is it?” Aria asked, trying to see around her taller girlfriend.

                “She’s not here.”

\--

                “I should have checked the floorboards. Why didn’t I check the floorboards?” Spencer moaned. Aria rubbed her back. The two were sitting in Spencer’s living room, along with Emily and Mona. Toby and Caleb were still trailing the woman Mona had identified as Mary Drake.

                “None of us thought of it, Spence,” Aria said. Her words didn’t make Spencer feel any better. After discovering that Hanna was gone, the two had been led to the Rosewood church. Spencer shivered, the image of the Hanna doll fresh in her memory. Now the mysterious AD had given them twenty-four hours to hand over Charlotte’s real killer. Or the next body they found wouldn’t be a doll.

                “We’re wasting time. We’ve been through all of the Mary Drake file that Mona found. It didn’t get us anywhere. We need to be out there, looking for Hanna!” Spencer exclaimed, staring at the countdown she’d set on her phone. They only had twenty-one hours left.

                “We don’t have any idea where to start. AD could have taken her anywhere. And we don’t know who killed Charlotte. That’s why we’re in this mess in the first place,” Emily pointed out. Aria glared at her.

                “So what, you want us to give up on finding Hanna?” she asked testily. Emily shook her head.

                “That’s not what I meant.”

                “We know who killed Charlotte,” Mona said quietly. The three women looked at her. “Well, we’re all thinking the same thing, aren’t we? It was Alison.”

                Chaos erupted in the room as Emily came to Alison’s defense and Mona refused to back down on her suspicion. In the midst of all the yelling, Aria and Spencer’s phones dinged. They both checked their messages and Spencer let out a sob.

                “What is it?” Emily asked worriedly. Aria showed her friend the picture AD had sent—Hanna, bleeding from the mouth, nearly naked, and looking terrified.

                “Emily, if Alison killed her sister and you’re protecting her at Hanna’s expense, so help me god…” Spencer trailed off. Emily swallowed hard.

                “I’m not. I swear. I’ll go talk to Ali and see if there’s anything she can tell us,” she said, her voice shaky. After she left, Mona turned to the two women.

                “I’m going to go check out Alison’s house. See if I can find any evidence,” she said. Spencer nodded numbly, staring at her phone.

                “We’re going to find her,” Aria promised. Spencer looked at her girlfriend, her brown eyes wet with tears.

                “I walked in on Caleb kissing her. I accused her of still having feelings for him. God, Aria, what if that’s the last thing I ever say to her?” she asked. Aria shook her head.

                “It won’t be. We’re going to find her,” she repeated. “We have to.”

\--

                “Is this the sweater you saw Alison wearing that night?” Mona asked, holding up a red sweater. Aria’s jaw dropped.

                “Yeah, I think so. Where did you find it?”

                “In a box of Goodwill clothes,” Mona said, throwing the sweater on the table. Spencer and Aria stared at the offending piece of clothing.

                “This could be our ticket to getting Hanna back,” Spencer whispered.

                “Spence, I hate to say this, but are we absolutely sure? What if we turn over Ali and it wasn’t actually her?” Aria asked hesitantly. Spencer glared at her.

                “It doesn’t matter! All that matters is getting Hanna back! Alison is safe in Welby. AD is hurting Hanna as we speak. If we’re wrong, we can deal with it once Hanna’s safe!” she argued. Aria sighed.

                “Should we call Emily?” she asked. Spencer shook her head.

                “No. She’ll never agree to it,” she said.

                “I’ll take it. You guys should be here. This is where she’ll come,” Mona said.

                “Thanks,” Spencer replied. Mona gave her a tight smile and left with the sweater, leaving Spencer and Aria alone in their fear.

\--

                “What if Mona tricked it? What if she was just waiting for us to hand over Ali?” Aria asked worriedly, pacing back and forth in the living room of the barn. Spencer shook her head.

                “No. She didn’t need our help for anything. She could have gotten that sweater and never told us. Besides, I might not like or trust Mona very much, but I do know she loves Hanna,” Spencer said, taking a swig of her scotch.

                “But why isn’t Hanna back yet? It’s been hours and we still haven’t heard anything!” Aria exclaimed.

                “Sit down, you’re giving me a headache,” Spencer complained. Aria raised an eyebrow.

                “Am I giving you a headache or is that drink giving you a headache?” she asked snarkily. Spencer rolled her eyes, but pushed the drink away, and Aria sat down next to her.

                “We’ve gone past the twenty-four hour mark,” she whispered. Spencer nodded.

                “I know.”

_Knock knock knock._

                Spencer and Aria looked at each other and raced to the door.

                “Hanna!” they screamed in unison. The blonde stumbled into their embrace, and the three women shared a hug.

                “Let’s get you inside,” Spencer said, ushering the blonde into the living room. She noticed Hanna was bleeding in several places, but was more concerned about getting her warmed up first. Instructing Aria to find some blankets, she disappeared into the kitchen to make tea.

                “Do you need another blanket?” Aria asked worriedly, tucking the first blanket around her girlfriend. Hanna shook her head, accepting the mug of tea Spencer handed her.

                “Do you want to go to the hospital?” Spencer asked. Another shake of her head.

                “Do you want to see anyone else tonight?” Aria asked, secretly hoping the answer would be no. She was relieved when Hanna once again shook her head.

                “How did you get out? Did they let you out? Did they bring you here?” Spencer questioned, sitting close to her girlfriend.

                “You said if there was a way in, there was a way out,” Hanna said flatly. Aria and Spencer shared a worried look.

                “Hanna, baby, what do you mean?” Aria asked, looking for signs of head trauma.

                “In my dream. Spencer said that if he was getting in, I could get out. And I did,” she explained.

                “How did you get here?” Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged, then winced in pain.

                “I walked.”

                Spencer’s forehead creased in concern as she noticed Hanna’s cut up feet for the first time. She disappeared into the bathroom, only to return with a tub of water, several wash cloths, antibiotic ointment, and bandages.

                “Where were you? How long did you walk?” Aria questioned. She waited impatiently for Spencer to finish wiping Hanna’s bloody lip.

                “I dunno. Hours,” Hanna replied, shuddering as Spencer cleaned a deep gash on her heel.

                “Sorry baby, I know it hurts,” Spencer said softly, gently drying and rubbing antibiotic ointment onto the bottom of Hanna’s foot. She frowned at the swelling that had already begun to appear. She wouldn’t be surprised if her girlfriend couldn’t walk without pain for days. Hanna shivered.

                “You’re freezing. Do you want me to run a bath?” Spencer asked. Hanna shook her head, fear filling her eyes.

                “What happened in there, baby?” Aria asked. Hanna didn’t reply.

                “Where else are you hurt?” Spencer asked. The blonde stood up, keeping the blanket around her body, and walked into the bedroom. Her girlfriends shared a concerned look.

                “Are you coming?” Hanna snapped from the other room. They quickly joined her, and Hanna dropped the blanket to reveal her injuries. She tried to pull off her tank top, but gasped in pain. Spencer stepped forward to help her. Once the material was removed, Aria gasped. Hanna’s body was covered in bruises and small, circular burns.

                “Where’s your burn cream?” Spencer asked, jumping into action. Aria quickly dug the tube out of her purse and handed it to her girlfriend. Squeezing some of the cream onto her fingers, Spencer carefully began to cover each burn.

                “What the hell did he do to you?” Spencer swore under her breath.

                “It was a cattle prod,” Hanna muttered. Spencer’s hand stilled as she grappled with this new information.

                “He sprayed me with icy water and then shocked me,” she explained in a dead voice. Aria cautiously reached for Hanna’s hand.

                “Does this hurt?” Spencer asked, gently applying pressure to Hanna’s bruised torso. The blonde yelped.

                “Jesus, Spencer! What the hell?” she gasped out painfully. Spencer frowned.

                “I’m worried about your ribs. You were having trouble lifting your arms up and the area is bruised and tender.”

                “No shit. He must have kicked me a good ten times,” Hanna mumbled. Spencer’s frown deepened.

                “You should really go to the hospital,” she said. Hanna shook her head. Spencer sighed, but didn’t argue. Spencer went over to the dresser and fished out a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Hanna reached out, but was surprised by her girlfriend helping her dress.

                “I could have done that,” she mumbled.

                “I don’t want you upsetting your ribs,” Spencer said seriously. Hanna rolled her eyes, and slid into bed next to Aria. The shorter brunette had been typing away on her phone, but at the sight of her girlfriend she pushed it away.

                “Come here,” she said softly. Hanna put her head on Aria’s chest and closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of Aria’s fingers running through her hair. She felt Spencer put another blanket around her body and slip into the bed next to her.

                “Will you be okay if I turn the lights off?” Spencer asked. Hanna considered the question. If she was alone, the darkness would almost definitely cause her to panic. But nestled between her girlfriends…

                “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Wait!” she exclaimed as Spencer reached out to turn off the lamp. Spencer’s hand stilled. Hanna turned to face the brunette.

                “I swear I wasn’t kissing him. He kissed me, and I was caught off guard, and—” Spencer pressed a finger to her girlfriend’s lips.

                “It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” she said.

                “It does matter! I don’t want you to think I’d cheat on you. Either of you,” she said, reaching for Aria’s hand as well.

                “We know that, baby. Spencer overreacted earlier,” Aria said. Spencer didn’t even make a biting retort.

                “I’m still sorry,” she said. Spencer kissed her nose.

                “We know.”

                “You can turn the light off now,” Hanna added. Spencer kissed her again before switching off the light. Hanna shivered and Spencer slipped an arm around her.

                “I woke up and everything was dark. My clothes were gone, except for that tank top and my underwear. It was cold, so cold… I still don’t understand why he took my clothes,” Hanna whispered almost to herself. Aria put an arm around her, overlapping her embrace with Spencer’s.

                “He, uh, he took them so he could put them on a doll,” Spencer said, unsure if she should tell her girlfriend about it.

                “A doll? What kind of doll?” she asked. Aria sighed.

                “A doll with a wig and a mask of your face, wearing your clothes, that he threw over the bell tower,” Aria said quickly, as if she was ripping off a band-aid.

                “Why would he make you think I was… why would he do that when you were able to figure it out so quickly?” Hanna asked.

                “He wanted us to see that he was in control. That we had made a mistake, and if he wanted, you would be dead. And if we made another mistake, you would be dead,” Spencer said tightly. Hanna felt Aria tense up next to her.

                “I thought I was going to die. I was so scared, and alone, and I kept waiting for him to kill me. Then the water started… It was so cold…” she shivered again, more from the memory than actually being cold.

                “Then he started in with the shocks. He wouldn’t stop asking me who killed Charlotte, and I said I didn’t know, but he wouldn’t stop shocking and kicking me,” Hanna whimpered, burying her face in Spencer’s chest.

                “You’re safe now, baby. I’m so sorry we let this happen. He’s never going to touch you again. You’re safe now,” Aria soothes, stroking Hanna’s damp hair.

                “I was so scared,” she cried. Spencer felt like her heart was going to break.

                “I’m sorry, Han. I’m so sorry. If I could have switched places with you, I would have. I wish I could take your pain away,” Spencer whispered. Hanna shook her head.

                “No. Better me than you. Either of you,” she said, making both of her girlfriends frown.

                “What do you mean?” Aria asked.

                “I’m already damaged,” she said. Spencer almost burst out laughing.

                “Oh, Hanna. Honey, everyone in this bed is already damaged,” she said, wiping away Hanna’s tears with her thumb.

                “You know what I mean. I deserved it,” Hanna muttered.

                “Don’t say that,” Aria said darkly.

                “Maybe I jinxed the whole plan from the beginning by letting Caleb kiss me. All I do is hurt people. I hurt him, I hurt you guys, I hurt everyone. I guess I deserve to be hurt back,” she said.

                “No. Stop. You did not deserve a single thing that happened to you, do you hear me?” Spencer asked seriously. Hanna didn’t respond. Aria sighed.

                “Get some sleep, baby. We can talk more in the morning,” she said. Hanna’s eyes drifted shut and she snuggled closer to Spencer.

                “I love you guys,” she whispered.

                “We love you too,” Spencer whispered back, pressing a kiss to Hanna’s forehead.

                “To the moon and back,” Aria added, then, silently she thought _and someday you’ll believe us when we say you didn’t deserve this._


	5. Going Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Rape

                For the first time since killing Shana, Aria Montgomery was excited. Tonight she and her girlfriends were having their first date in weeks. Well, they were ordering pizza and watching a movie at Spencer’s house. Aria pulled into the Marin driveway and sent Hanna a text. Normally she would just go in, but they were already running late. Aria waited, but Hanna didn’t come out. She glanced at her phone and frowned when she noticed Hanna hadn’t read her text. She sighed, took out the key, and walked up to the door. To her surprise, it was unlocked.

                “Han? Hurry up! We were supposed to be at Spencer’s twenty minutes ago!” Aria called, heading upstairs. Admittedly, it was her fault they were late. She’d been helping her mom with wedding stuff and lost track of time. A high pitch scream turned her walk to a run. She yanked open Hanna’s door and froze in shock and horror.

                “What are you doing? Get off of her!” she screamed, running to the bed. Her girlfriend was on the bed, squirming and crying, while her mother’s fiancé was on top of her. At Aria’s sudden appearance, Zach jumped off the bed.

                “Aria! This isn’t what it looks like. She wanted it,” he tried to explain.

                “Get. Out,” Aria ordered darkly. The man quickly left and Aria rushed to Hanna’s side. She wrapped a blanket around the blonde’s shaking body. Her clothes had been discarded on the floor, and there was a dark bruise on her cheek. Aria’s was nearly blinded with rage at the sight of red handprints around Hanna’s neck.

                “I didn’t want it. I promise, I didn’t want it,” Hanna sobbed. Aria cautiously sat down and gathered her girlfriend in her arms. Hanna clutched at her, burying her face in her shoulder.

                “Shh, it’s okay. I know, baby. I know,” Aria whispered, gently rubbing Hanna’s back.

                “I don’t know h-how he got in! I was g-getting ready and h-he was here!” she cried. Aria didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what she could say.

                “We should go to the hospital,” Aria said finally. Hanna shook her head.

                “No. I don’t want to,” she argued. Aria sighed. She knew she _should_ take Hanna to the hospital, but she also knew that if Hanna didn’t want to do something, it would be incredibly hard to make her. And after Zach’s violation, Aria didn’t want to try to force the girl to do anything.

                “Okay. We won’t go to the hospital. Do you still want to go to Spencer’s? Or we could call her to come over here,” she suggested. Hanna shook her head.

                “Please, Spencer can’t know. How can I look her in the eye and tell her that h-he… I should have fought him off! She would have fought him off!” Hanna cried, desperation in her eyes. Aria sighed.

                “Oh, honey. Spencer isn’t going to judge you. This wasn’t your fault. She’ll know that, baby. Do you want me to tell her for you?” she asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Okay. Do you want to go to her house?” Another nod.

                “I want to take a shower first,” Hanna said quietly. Aria nodded and dialed Spencer’s number. While the brunette quietly explained the situation, Hanna closed her eyes and tried to tune it out.

                “Yeah, I’ll see you in a half hour,” Aria said. She put down the phone and led Hanna to the bathroom.

                “Will you stay in here?” Hanna asked. Aria nodded.

                “Of course, baby. I’ll be right here,” she promised. Hanna got into the shower and turned the water as hot as it would go. She scrubbed and scrubbed, trying to get the feel of Zach off of her body, until her skin was raw. She could still feel him.

                When she got out, Aria helped her dry off and put on the clothes she’d brought in.

                “Are you ready?”

\--

                Spencer put down her phone, her entire body shaking with rage. How _dare_ he? How dare he touch her girlfriend? Without even realizing what she was doing, she found herself on Aria’s front porch. She knocked on the door, unsure of what she was doing. Zach opened the door and she lost it.

\--

                “Spencer! Spencer! What are you doing?” Ella Montgomery yelled. Spencer looked up at her girlfriend’s mother, then down at Zach’s bloody face, and then at her own bloodied hands. Her eyes were wide and unfocused.

                “Spencer… What are you doing?” Ella repeated, kneeling down in front of the girl.

                “I… He… Aria walked in on him… He hurt Hanna…” she said, her words jumbled together. Ella caught her meaning, though, and her face clouded.

                “Is this true?” she whispered in a tight voice.

                “She wanted it,” Zach choked out. Ella closed her eyes.

                “Spencer, leave. Go be with Hanna. I’ll deal with him,” she said. Spencer nodded, still shocked by what she had done. She hardly even remembered throwing the first punch. She drove home in a daze, barely registering relief that Aria and Hanna hadn’t arrived yet.

                How was she going to tell them what she’d done?

\--

                “Hanna!” Spencer exclaimed, rushing out to help her girlfriends inside.

                “I can walk on my own,” Hanna said, though her voice lacked its usual bite. Aria shot her girlfriend a glare, and Spencer immediately knew that she knew.

                “Of course you can. I’m just really happy to see you,” she said. “Do you want ice for your cheek?”

                Hanna shrugged, and she took that as a yes. After settling Hanna on the couch, Aria joined her girlfriend in the kitchen.

                “What the hell were you thinking? What if he had hurt you too?” Aria hissed. Spencer sighed, and poured three cups of coffee.

                “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking,” she admitted. Aria sighed and hugged Spencer.

                “I couldn’t stand it if you were both hurt by him,” she said. Spencer kissed the top of her head.

                “It’s not your fault, Aria,” she reassured her, before rejoining Hanna in the living room. The blonde accepted the coffee and pressed the ice to her cheek.

                “I’m not really hungry anymore,” Hanna said quietly. Spencer and Aria sat on either side of her, and Spencer carded her fingers through Hanna’s hair.

                “Okay, honey. That’s okay,” she said.

                “I’m sorry I’m not a good date tonight,” Hanna said. Aria pressed a gentle kiss to Hanna’s forehead.

                “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. We love you, and we’re here for you. Whatever you need,” she promised. Hanna put her head on Aria’s lap.

                “We love you, baby girl,” Spencer agreed. Tears gathered in Hanna’s eyes, but Aria wiped them away.

                “I love you guys too. I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Spencer shook her head.

                “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Hanna,” she said. Hanna yawned.

                “You can sleep, if you want. We’ll be right here,” Spencer promised. Hanna’s eyes drifted closed. Aria reached out to grasp Spencer’s hand.

The two of them would get Hanna through this, together.


	6. You're Crazy and I'm Out of My Mind

                Spencer felt like her blood was boiling. How dare this woman treat Hanna like her personal punching bag? She’d had her own fair share of shitty bosses, but none that threw _staplers_ at her.

                “Where are you doing?” Aria asked, watching her girlfriend frantically search for her keys. Spencer glanced up.

                “New York,” she said. Aria raised an eyebrow.

                “Why?”

                “You know why,” Spencer replied.

                “Spence, this is a terrible idea. Hanna’s a big girl. She can take care of herself,” Aria reminded her. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Of course she can, but she won’t! Ha! Found my keys!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Aria sighed.

                “Please don’t do this, Spencer,” she said, knowing it wouldn’t work. Only one person could prevent Spencer from going on her ‘protective girlfriend warpath’ and that was Hanna. Unfortunately, Hanna was currently at the Radley having lunch with Ashley.

Aria sighed again, and left the barn. She only had one option.

\---

"She did  _what_?" Hanna shrieked. Aria rubbed her temples, feeling a headache forming.

"Nothing yet. But she's going to go chew out your boss," Aria repeated. Hanna shook her head.

"She can't do that! She'll lose her cool and I'll lose my job!" Hanna exclaimed. 

"So go stop her," Aria said. Hanna groaned.

"She better not have left yet."

\---

She had, of course. By the time Hanna arrived at Spencer’s, there was no sign of the brunette. She had tried calling her three times, to no avail. Finally she'd called Aria and told her she was going to New York to drag Spencer's ass home. 

The drive from Rosewood to New York had never felt longer. Finally, she pulled into the parking lot and ran into the familiar building. She sprinted in right in time to see Spencer slap Claudia.

"Spencer!" She yelled, running over to her girlfriend. The brunette turned, surprised. 

"Hanna! What are you doing here?" Spencer asked, as if she hadn’t heard the three angry messages from the blonde.

"Bringing you home. Let's go. _Now_ ," she added when Spencer didn't move.

"I'm just having a chat with--"

"You’re done. We're leaving," Hanna said through gritted teeth.

"Hanna, she can't treat her employees this way!" Spencer argued. To both of their surprise, Hanna burst into tears.

"Hanna?" Spencer asked quietly, unsure if her girlfriend was faking tears to get her to leave. Hanna's quickening breath told her this was real.

"Let's go outside, babe," Spencer whispered, shooting Claudia a glare as she guided Hanna outside. 

"Breathe with me, sweetie. Try to match my breath," Spencer instructed as Hanna started hyperventilating. Hanna tried to do as her girlfriend said, and slowly her breath returned to normal.

"I'm driving you home, okay? We'll deal with your car later," Spencer said. Hanna wordlessly opened the passenger side door of Spencer's car and got in. Spencer took a deep breath and got in as well. 

The drive home was silent, save for Hanna's occasional sniffle. Once, Spencer tried to reach for Hanna's hand, only for the blonde to yank it away. Finally, they returned to Spencer's barn. Without a word, Hanna disappeared inside. Spencer sighed and followed her.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Spencer heard Aria ask. If Hanna replied, it was too quiet to hear. 

"Babe, what happened?" Aria asked, joining Spencer in the living room. Hanna had gone into the bedroom and shut the door. 

"I don't know. I was fighting with that bitch when Hanna came in, and all of a sudden she was having a panic attack," Spencer explained. Aria pursed her lips, willing herself not to say I told you so.

"Go talk to her. If I don't hear anything, I'll be in for bed in an hour," Aria said. Spencer nodded and went to her bedroom. She knocked once before entering. 

"Go away," Hanna sniffled. The room was dark and she was curled up on the bed, clearly crying. Without turning the lights on, Spencer joined her girlfriend in bed.

"What happened back there?" Spencer asked softly. 

"I think it's pretty obvious I had a panic attack," Hanna snipped. Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Prompted by?"

Hanna sat up, pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"What the hell were you thinking, Spence? You scared the shit out of me," she whispered. Spencer furrowed her eyebrows.

"What?" 

"I was terrified that Claudia was going to call the police and you were going to be arrested! And I would just be standing there, unable to do anything!" She cried. Spencer reached out and touched Hanna's back. The blonde fell into her embrace, sobbing into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have gone there; I should have listened when you tried to get me to leave. I'm sorry," Spencer whispered, pressing her lips to the top of Hanna's head. 

"You don't always have to be everyone's knight in shining armor, you know," Hanna said softly. Spencer nodded.

"I know. I should have let you handle the situation. I just... Hearing about how badly she treats you made me livid. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry," she repeated. 

"I know," Hanna sighed. 

"I love you so much, and the idea of someone throwing a stapler at your head kills me," she said.

"She usually missed," Hanna said weakly. Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Not funny," she admonished. 

"Sorry. But it's over now. I'm quitting. Or, I'll probably be fired. Either way, I'm not going back," she said. 

"Thank you," Spencer whispered. Hanna snorted.

"It's not for you. It's for me. I deserve to be treated better."

"Yes you do, baby. Yes you do."

\--

As promised, Aria snuck into the bedroom an hour later. She'd heard some noise for the first twenty minutes, but it'd been silent for a while now. A smile crossed her face when she found her girlfriends asleep in bed, Spencer's head on Hanna's chest, Hanna's arm around Spencer's waist. Still smiling, Aria slipped into bed next to Hanna, eternally grateful for her two difficult, but wonderful girls.

 


	7. Make Me Feel Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Non-explicit suicide attempt.

It had been three days since Hanna had tearfully confessed to hooking up with Caleb. Three days since Spencer and Aria had broken up with her. Three days since all three of their worlds came crashing down. Spencer was devastated by what Hanna had done. She'd thought they were finally in a good place after Hanna's kidnapping and killing Rollins. Instead, everything had be ruined. But now Emily was sitting in front of her and Aria, telling them that it didn't have to be the end.

"Look, Em, we appreciate your concern, but we want Hanna to be happy, and that's clearly not going to happen with us. She wants Caleb," Aria said patiently. Spencer rolled her eyes. For some reason, the smaller brunette was taking the break up much better than she was. Emily huffed in frustration.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you! She doesn't want to be with Caleb!"

"Oh what, she just mistook him for us?" Spencer asked sarcastically. Emily sighed.

"Listen to me, I talked to Caleb. Hanna didn't want to sleep with him!" Emily argued. Anger immediately flashed in Spencer's eyes.

"He forced her?" she asked furiously. Emily shook her head.

"No, but he pressured her. He said that she was upset and she'd been drinking, and he pressured her into it. She started crying afterward and wouldn't stop saying that she'd made a mistake," Emily explained. Spencer put her head in her hands, exhausted. 

"Then why didn't she say any of this when we broke up with her?" Aria asked, rubbing Spencer's back reassuringly. A phone beeped, but no one paid any attention. Emily shrugged.

"You'd have to ask her that," she said. Aria sighed.

"All right. Thanks, Em," she said. Emily nodded, and left her two friends alone to think. 

"What do you want to do?" Aria asked softly. Spencer wiped away a tear.

"We should go talk to her. Hey, was that my phone?" she asked, remembering the beep. Aria handed her the phone, and Spencer frowned.

"There's a voicemail from Hanna's house," she said, confused. It was the first time Hanna had tried to contact them in three days, and she didn't understand why Hanna would use the old house phone.

"Listen to it!" Aria urged. Spencer put the message on speaker.

_Hey Spence. I only want to do this once, so I hope you'll share this message with Aria. I love you both so, so much and the last year has been the best year of my life. I'm sorry I ruined everything for us. I can't do this anymore. I hope you'll understand some day. I love you guys. Goodbye._

Neither girl spoke for several seconds. 

"What was that?" Aria asked in a whisper. Spencer snapped out of her shock.

"We need to find her," she said, jumping up and grabbing her keys, Aria close behind. 

They made it to the Marin house in record time. Running up the stairs, Spencer prayed they weren't too late. She let out a sigh of relief to find Hanna in her room, conscious and breathing. The sigh quickly turned to dread when she saw the pill bottle in Hanna's hand.

"Hanna, please don't," she whispered. Hanna's head snapped up, as if she'd only just noticed the two girls.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. Aria raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" she shot back. Hanna sighed.

"You weren't supposed to come here. Why are you here?" she asked again, tears leaking down her face. Spencer cautiously sat down next to her. She noticed that Hanna had been in the middle of writing a note to Ashley. 

"Han, what's going on?" she asked softly, prying the pill bottle out of her hand. To her relief, the bottle was still full.

"I can't do this anymore," Hanna whispered. Aria furrowed her eyebrows and sat down on Hanna's other side.

“Can’t do what?" she asked. 

"Every time I close my eyes I'm back in that cabin with AD. I can still feel the cattle prod poking my skin, burning me. I'm still cold. I'm always cold. I'm afraid every second of every day. I just want it to stop. I need it to stop," she cried. Spencer closed her eyes and pulled the blonde into an embrace. Aria reached out and hugged them both.

"I'm sorry, Han. I'm sorry we haven't been here for you," Spencer whispered.

"It's my fault. I'm the one who screwed up. I ruined us, just like I ruin everything," she mumbled, her words difficult to hear with her face buried in Spencer’s shoulder. Aria shook her head.

"No, baby. You don't ruin everything. And you didn't ruin us. We shouldn't have reacted so quickly. We know that Caleb pressured you," Aria said. Spencer stayed quiet, guilt churning in her stomach. Hanna had refused to go to the doctor, refused to discuss the trauma of her kidnapping, refused to talk about what happened in the car... And they'd let her. Aria had tried to get her to open up, and Spencer had tried to reassure her, but they both just assumed she was okay. Clearly they'd been wrong.

"Hanna, you were hurting, you'd been drinking, and he pressured you. He took advantage of the fact that you were upset," Aria argued. Hanna didn't say anything.

"We made the mistake, sweetie. We've been together for a year. Aria and I shouldn't have just thrown that away," Spencer said. Hanna still didn't say anything, but she tightened her hold on Spencer.

"Please come home," Aria said softly, gently kissing Hanna's shoulder.

"Does this mean you guys forgive me?" she asked in a tiny voice. Spencer nodded.

"Of course, baby. But Hanna, we have to talk about what happened today. And you need to tell us what we can do to help you feel safer," Spencer said seriously.

"And you have to let us be here for you. Because we love you, and don't want to see you hurting," Aria added. Hanna sat up, wiping away tears.

"I'm really sorry," she whispered. Aria nodded.

"We know," she replied. Hesitantly, Hanna reached for Spencer's hand. To her immense relief, Spencer held it tightly.

"I don't know how to take away the pain of that night, or how to make you feel safe again. But I love you, so much, and I'm here for you, okay? Aria and I are both here for you," Spencer said. Hanna nodded, and Spencer gave her a small smile.

"Okay. Let's get rid of this note somewhere where your mom won't find it and have a heart attack," she said, grabbing the pad of paper. 

"And let's go home," Aria said, holding tightly onto Hanna's hand.

Home.

Maybe her brain was playing tricks on her, but for the first time since AD took her, Hanna didn't feel terrified. Instead, she felt loved.

 


	8. Dark Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria has to calm down Hanna when she panics after Spencer's shot.

                Aria rubbed Hanna’s back gently, trying to calm down her girlfriend. The blonde hadn’t stopped crying since they’d discovered Spencer bleeding out from a bullet wound three hours ago. Now they were all sitting around the hospital waiting room, hoping and praying that she’d be okay. Mary Drake had been silent since her admission that she was Spencer’s birth mother, Alison wouldn’t stop pacing, and Hanna wouldn’t stop crying. Emily had called Peter, Veronica, Melissa, and Toby. Toby hadn’t answered, but the others were on their way. Melissa had even gotten a red-eye ticket from London, but it would be hours before any of them arrived.

                “Hanna, baby, you’re going to have to calm down if you want to see her,” Aria whispered. Hanna wiped at her tears.

                “This is all my fault!” she cried desperately. Aria frowned and shook her head.

                “What do you mean? Baby, you aren’t the one who shot her,” she said. Hanna managed to roll her eyes.

                “No, but I was the one who got us into this mess. The only reason we were at that house is because we needed to get back the camera. And the only reason we needed to get the camera is because I didn’t tie up Noel tightly enough after I _kidnapped_ him. Without telling you guys. So really, I might not have pulled the trigger, but it sure as hell is my fault,” she said before breaking down into sobs again. Aria sighed and gestured for Alison. The blonde walked over, looking more worried than Aria had ever seen her.

                “Will you see if Mary can get an update?” she asked. She knew the woman was shaken up, but she was the only relative there. Alison nodded and went to talk to her aunt. A few minutes later, Mary returned with news.

                “She’s out of surgery. The doctors said we can see her in about fifteen minutes,” she said, her voice shaking.

                “Do you hear that? She’s out of surgery. She’s okay, Han. We can see her in a few minutes,” Aria repeated, trying to soothe Hanna. Unfortunately, she knew the only person who could really calm her down was currently unconscious.

                “What if she hates me?” Hanna asked. Aria furrowed her eyebrows.

                “Spencer loves you. She’d never hate you. Why would you think that?” she asked, confusion dancing across her features. Hanna looked at her, her blue eyes wide and teary.

                “She was so mad at me for disappearing and kidnapping Noel behind your backs. And now this… She had every reason to hate me,” Hanna whispered. Aria shook her head.

                “Han, we were all pissed at you,” Aria pointed out. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she interrupted. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “We were all pissed at you, but we understand,” Aria said. Hanna shook her head.

                “No, Spencer didn’t. She said we all stick together, no matter what. We don’t go rogue. She was really, really angry with me,” she said. Aria nodded.

                “She was angry because she was worried. We were all worried. I mean, you know Spencer. She is firmly against ever getting the police involved, but she called Toby anyway, because she thought Noel had taken you again. And then, when she found out where you’d really been, she was even more scared about what could have happened,” Aria said gently, not wanting to upset Hanna further.

                “Yeah, and she was right. Look what happened. Because of me, Spencer’s in there with a bullet in her chest!” Hanna exclaimed.

                “Technically they took the bullet out,” Alison pointed out. Aria glared at her.

                “She’s going to break up with me. And she should. I almost got her killed! She could still die because of me! Oh god. She could die. She could die and it would be my fault,” Hanna gasped out, on the verge of hyperventilating. Aria pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly.

                “She’s not going to die. Okay? She’s not going to die,” Aria promised. A doctor walked into the waiting room.

                “Family of Spencer Hastings?” she asked. They all stood up.

                “You may see her now. But only one at a time,” she said. Everyone, including Mary, looked at Aria and Hanna.

                “You go,” Aria said. Hanna’s mouth opened in surprise.

                “Are you sure?” she asked. Aria nodded, a smile on her face.

                “Yeah. Give her my love,” she said. Hanna gave her a quick kiss and followed the doctor, wiping away her tears.

                “She should be waking up anytime, but she could be a little bit out of it,” the doctor warned. Hanna nodded. The doctor led her to the door of Spencer’s room, and left her alone. Hanna took a deep breath and walked in.

                All of the oxygen drained from her lungs at the sight of Spencer, her strong, beautiful Spencer, lying lifeless in the hospital bed. She was transported back to after the dollhouse, when Spencer had been stuck with an IV drip for a day longer than the rest of them. She always looked so small in the vast white bed, lost in a sea of tubes. Hanna pulled a chair next to Spencer’s bed and sat down. Carefully, she took Spencer’s hand in her own.

                “I’m so sorry, Spence. I’m so, so sorry. I never should have gone off on my own. Everything that’s happened since then has been my fault. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, if you’ll let me,” she whispered, running her thumb across the back of Spencer’s hand.

                “Don’t apologize,” Spencer rasped out. Hanna’s eyes snapped to Spencer’s face.

                “You’re awake!” she exclaimed. “How are you feeling?”

                “Like shit,” Spencer said honestly, her fingers fluttering against Hanna’s hand. Hanna laced their fingers together and raised them to her mouth, pressing a kiss against Spencer’s hand.

                “I’m so sorry, Spence,” she repeated. Spencer tried to shake her head, but groaned in pain.

                “Do you want me to call the nurse?” Hanna asked worriedly.

                “No, not yet. And please stop apologizing. I’m not mad at you. This wasn’t your fault,” she said. Hanna sighed, cupping Spencer’s cheek.

                “I love you so much, Spence,” she whispered. Spencer smiled and tried to raise herself up for a kiss. Hanna noticed and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Spencer’s lips.

                “I love you too, Hanna Banana,” Spencer said. Hanna smiled at the nickname.

                “I should probably let Aria and everyone else know that you’re awake,” she said.

                “Will you wait, just a minute?” Spencer asked hopefully. Hanna nodded and slipped into the bed, putting an arm over Spencer’s stomach.

                “I was so worried that I’d lost you,” Hanna said. Spencer kissed Hanna’s neck, unable to reach her lips.

                “Sorry, babe. Guess you’re stuck with me.”


End file.
